I don't want to leave my mother in law's house

No, this is not an Onion article.

I don't want to leave my mother-in-law's house. It is so fun and easy here. Food appears as if out of nowhere. An addle minded cleaning lady comes every two weeks. The showers work. The floors don't have nails that stick up and hurt your feet.

The garge door opens with some kind of magic button. There are 3 refigerators. The decks look out on beautiful mountains and not piles of trash. The trash is taken away by men in a magic bus that drives by every week.

Anyway--we are leaving this week and are already looking forwar to a return.