This is actually a post that I (Heidi) have been meaning to post for almost a year. But today it definitely seems most fitting.
When I was in the 5th grade my parents took me to my first concert. It was somewhere in downtown Pittsburgh and we went out to dinner beforehand (IT WAS A SCHOOL NIGHT). I knew all of the words to the songs and clapped a lot - I remember smiling and loving every minute of it.
It was Peter, Paul & Mary.
When I was a senior in college, PP & M, as we called them in our house, came to Concord and so my parents got us tickets again. I was willing to go but will admit that I had lost my PP & M passion from childhood. Well, I went, and again, I knew all of the words to the songs, clapped a lot, and remember smiling and loving every minute of it. I went back to UNH the next day proclaiming that it was the best concert I had ever been to. I still say that.
When I was pregnant with Amelia I suddenly started thinking of PP & M again. I actually bought a cd (who does that anymore? :)) of their "greatest hits" and started listening to it in the car. I, again, remembered all of the words and started singing to Amelia. I was having a hard time figuring out how to bond with this growing baby inside of me, but when I sang along to my old favorites (and learned some new ones) she would swim around and kick inside of me and I would feel connected to her. I started listening to the cd every day on the way home from school. Sometimes I would play "If I had a hammer" 3-4 times in a row and just scream out the words. It really helped me decompress after a long day AND Amelia seemed to love it. I also found a lullaby on this cd that I'd never heard before and when I sang it I totally felt like a mother. I decided that my goal was to learn all of the words by the time she was born so that I could sing it to her.
After Amelia was born this daily routine obviously ended and I didn't think much of it. Then one day we were driving in the car, she was probably about 6 months old, and she was
screaming (big surprise). I remembered the PP & M cd and pushed play on the cd player. I flicked it over to "If I had a hammer" and just started singing to drown out the screaming. And Amelia stopped crying. Immediately. I thought, wow, awesome. But then the same thing happened the next day. With the same song. And then the next day... and I quickly realized that "If I had a hammer" was THE ONLY song that would settle her down. And I'm serious. It worked (still does) EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. So now I turn on this song first to settle her down, then we move on to "the times they are a' changin'" and then we finish with the lullaby "To Baby."
So, I realize that she really was listening to me all of that time when she was swimming around inside of me, and we really were bonding. And I feel even more connected to PP & M -- I loved it as a child and now my child might love it. So, I was so so so so sad to learn this morning that Mary Travers, the "M," and the voice behind that passionate "If I had a hammer" and that beautiful lullaby, had died. Tonight during Amelia's bath I sang to her every PP & M song that I could remember (while she jumped around, splashed me, chanted POO over and over again, and kept pointing at my eyes saying EYE!) and then I ended with our lullaby. I know she was listening because every now and then she'd stop and look at me.
For Baby (For Bobbie)
Written by John Denver, but in our car, sung by Mary Travers (and Mommy)
I'll walk in the rain by your side,
I'll cling to the warmth of your tiny hand,
I'll do anything to make you understand
I'll love you more than anybody can.
And the wind will whisper your name to me
little birds will sing along in time,
and the leaves will bow down when you walk by,
and morning bells will chime.
I'll be there when you're feeling down
to kiss away the tears that you cry,
I'll share with you all the happiness I've found
a reflection of the love in your eyes.
And I'll sing you the songs of the rainbow,
the whisper of the joy that is mine
and the leaves will bow down when you you walk by
and morning bells will chime.
I'll walk in the rain by your side,
I'll cling to the warmth of your tiny hand,
I'll do anything to help you understand
I'll love you more than anybody can.
And the wind will whisper your name to me
little birds will sing along in time,
the leaves will bow down when you walk by
and morning bells will chime.
