Monday, May 2, 2011

Sept. 11 Reflections

Long before I met Heidi or thought about having kids I had a rough night of sleep and decided to take a sick day. I arrived at CHS at 4am and began making my sub plans. As I did this I began to feel better and decided to stay for the day. At the time I worked on the second floor of Concord High School in room 330 teaching chemistry.

Other than the odd beginning the day was progressing as any other. Then my second period of the day began and one of my odder students came in and told me that planes had just crashed somewhere in New York City. He was a smart student but he often began classes with weird tangential conversations that sometimes were and sometimes were not related to reality. Just for interest though I turned on the TV and video tape of a very small plane flying into some skyscrapers. At the time I thought that it was a very small plane, like a personal plane or something like that, flying into a moderately sized city building. It was only as I continued to watch that I realized that they were the world trade towers and that they were in fact very big planes.

I had recently been in New York City and had stood by the towers and looked up. I described them to my students as unbelievably tall. At the time I never imagined that even a plane flying into them could knock them down. In the remaining time between classes I walked down the hall to a colleague who didn't have a TV in her room and mentioned that she might want to check out what was going on on TV. I wasn't sure what to do with my class so I told them that I would give them the planned notes for 30 minutes or so and then we could check to see what was on TV.

About 45 minutes into class Principal Tim Mayes came over the loud speaker and described the attacks on the trade towers. I'm not sure if he mentioned Pennsylvania where a plan had crashed in a field or the attack on the Pentagon. But he did mention, and this struck me, that in Concord they were pretty sure that we were not in danger and that school was going to continue. I believe he had also mentioned that they had been in touch with police and the police said that we would be OK staying in school. In my role as teacher I remained calm for the students and had to somewhat hide my more natural reaction which would have been less staid. As the day went on most classes watched TV and many, many students were dismissed.

Anyone who remembers that day will recall the staggering beauty of the northeast on that day. After school I went for a bike ride with a friend. It was calming to get away from the media for an hour or so. It was also incredibly surreal to be riding around peaceful and bucolic Concord knowing that thousands of people had lost their lives that day. At the time of our ride Mayor Giuliani's prediction saying that the death toll will be more than we can bear was fresh in our minds and we thought that the number could be around ten thousand.

I didn't have a TV at the time so after my ride I went home, sat in my one chair, and listened to NPR on the radio. I'm pretty sure that I drank a canned beer--probably a Natural Light. I went to bed at a normal time and woke up for work the next day. As clear as them memories of Sept. 11th are I have no clear memories of the next day or days for that matter. I received emails from New York friends letting me know that they were OK. I received amazing pictures from John McLeod that he took from the top of his office building. They highlight the picturesque skies of the day juxtaposed by the smoking towers. Little by little and day by day things got back to a new normal.

I do remember that I went to Bill Thompson and Claire Mackey's wedding in the spring of that year and took the bus to NYC. I got in at 32nd street and walked with my backpack down to ground zero. You couldn't get very close but it somehow made me feel as though I had, in some small way, paid my respects to the victims of that day.

This morning I turned on Mike and Mike on ESPN and instead of them I saw two sportscenter anchors who began by saying that this is a sports show but this day is not about sports. I thought it was a joke. But then they went to coverage of President Obama and he was announcing that someone had been killed. I thought he was going to say Mohamar Qaddafi but he said Osama bin Ladin. I wasn't ebullient. I didn't feel the urge to jump for joy or scream out. I was mostly shocked. Like others I had figured that if we couldn't find him in 9 years then we probably would never find him.

Closure is the wrong word but the announcement of Osama's decline certainly closes a very sad chapter in our country and the world's history. I still wish that the world unity of the weeks after the attacks could have been sustained and that we could have all reacted to the attacks in a way that truly changed the world. But humans aren't ready for that step yet. We keep getting better though and I'm sure we will get there some day.

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